March 16, 2017

Transience

By In fashion, Opinion

There’s something incredibly threatening for your state of mind when trying to guess the future. Threatening may be a harsh word, but it is nonetheless applicable, as when second-guessing a future event, if the outcome doesn’t satisfy your expectations, you’re left feeling rather disillusioned. More so, you’re left feeling melancholic, even though you don’t want to be. I’ve long had a tendency to think too much, and I know that it’s a flaw of mine. Thinking too much and devising expectations in your mind makes life that much more saddening when things don’t turn out how you expect them to, and in particular, when people you think you know turn out to be rather different. You try to not be disheartened when your expectations are not met, but after all, we’re all human, and regardless of reality, we will always crave the fulfilment of our personal expectations and desires.

The more I grow up, and the more I encounter different types of people, I’m starting to discover the saddening fact that most relationships are transient. I’m not solely talking about relationships of love, but of relationships with friends, family, just about anyone. That sounds really negative, I know, but I’ve found it to be true. Naturally, I am an optimistic person, so I’ve long had hope in life and in people. Yet over the past few years, I feel like I’ve been living in a constant cycle of being disappointed. It shouldn’t sadden me anymore because I’ve grown quite accustomed to it, but it still does. I guess the reasoning for this is because, regardless of how much I experience disillusionment, I still continue to form some sort of devised ideal of a person in my mind before I find out what they’re really like. It’s dangerous – most people are unpredictable, meaning it can take a long time in any form of relationship to truly feel like you know and trust someone. A lot of the time when you feel disappointed, it stems from the fact that you’re giving much more to a relationship than you’re receiving back. Being unappreciative of kindness and loyalty says a lot about a person’s mentality.

What I can never understand is how so many people view relationships as competitions. I don’t see my relationships with other people as a contest of who can be more successful in life; if anything, I only contest success with myself. I ask: ‘What can I do to progress further in this?’ as opposed to ‘How can I be better than her?’ It’s crazy that a lot of people I’ve known appear to lead life in the opposing manner. I can’t imagine having that attitude towards someone I’m supposedly close to. Then there are those rare people in life who you meet, are instantly interested and intrigued by, and think that your relationship with them will be anything but transient, because you appear to be on a similar level. Then you’re even more disheartened as you discover that they’re as disappointing as the rest. They say one thing and then do another. One month you’re close to them, the next you’re a stranger. I’ve met one or two people like that. Doesn’t do much for you if you’re a dreamer.

A proportion of my time during the recent London Fashion Week was devoted to attending shows and presentations, but outside of this, I enjoyed observing style on the street across numerous locations in London. Across my travelling to these locations, I found myself reading Kerouac’s On The Road. It was the novel I was studying in Uni that week, so the reading was somewhat compulsory, but nonetheless affirming. I last read On The Road about five years ago, and so when re-reading it on my travels, I was surprised at how different my reactions were. More specifically, I was surprised at how easily I could place myself as having similar perceptions as Kerouac regarding relationships. The novels main character – Sal – frequently experiences transient relationships that end in abandonment and a return to his own solitude. A lot of people see this as a problem, but maybe that’s because they don’t really think about the true workings of relationships in their lives. Myself, I’m a lot like Sal in my approach to people. Why maintain close ties with someone when you realise there’s an inability to connect? Life is an undetermined road of people and of places, dealing with different characters and different challenges. Yet we’re never certain of when it’s going to end. So if you realise someone is travelling in the opposite direction to you, there’s little more to do than move yourself forward.

There’s a quote by Sal which stuck with me when I first read the novel, and still sticks with me today. It reads:

‘What is that feeling when you’re driving away from people and they recede on the plain till you see their specks dispersing? – it’s the too-huge world vaulting us, and it’s good-bye. But we lean forward to the next crazy venture beneath the skies.’

Reading On The Road recently resonated with revelations of characters in my life who I hoped would have turned out for the better. These revelations saddened me – a reaction that’s only human. But like Sal, I’ll let their specks disperse and lean forward. The world is vaulting us for a reason: another crazy venture lies ahead, and with it, an endless stream of possibility.

As always, thoughts are much appreciated. I’m a little late uploading this look but my wardrobe hasn’t changed much as – once again – I’m in all black.What can I say – it’s an endless stream of my style! Thanks again to the incredible Moeez Ali who shot the following images for me – a composer of endlessly artistic photography.  So until next time!

Faye .x

Photographs by Moeez Ali – Instagram // http://www.joincomb.com/

 
Photographs by Moeez Ali – Instagram // http://www.joincomb.com/
 
 
Entire outfit: Zara
 
~ xxx ~
22 Comments
  1. Violette Daily March 16, 2017

    Nice look! Love these photos!

    http://violettedaily.com

    Reply
  2. Kathrine Eldridge March 16, 2017

    Thanks for sharing this deep thoughts. As I have grown older, I have started having less expectations which really help me appreciate all around me. I know that doesn't help you but time is what grows us and it just takes time. Love this sleek edgy look! I adore the ring details.

    http://www.kathrineeldridge.com

    Reply
  3. I AM YASMIN March 16, 2017

    Love this post, thanks for your thoughts. I promised this year I would only have friends that I enjoyed spending time with.If i don't enjoy talking to you, then I don't want to waste time with you.

    xo,
    I AM YASMIN

    Reply
  4. Aquatera March 16, 2017

    your blog design is beautiful! xx aquateraa.blogspot.co.uk

    Reply
  5. Holly White March 17, 2017

    I can totally relate to this – especially in the blogging/fashion industry, there are too many people who want to come swanning in and out of our lives! xxx

    Reply
  6. Yiotou_La March 17, 2017

    I know what you mean about relationships and friendship. In the 36 of my life I learned that we only have a few real friends who care and love us no matter what and don't compete with us or compare who is the best or who has accomplished more in life. I had lots of friends that were full of envy and bad feelings towards me and they received nothing but love and a shoulder to cry on from me, but they didn't respect that. By the way, you look awesome, love your outfit and photos!

    Yiota
    PinkDaisyLoves

    Reply
  7. Daniel Poon March 17, 2017

    Cool photographs! Love that look too!

    Daniel x

    The Daniel Originals | Instagram: danielpoonvignez

    New Post: Happy Blogiversary!

    Reply
  8. Jalisa Giron March 17, 2017

    First off, I can certainly relate to having been disappointed by people and relationships that went south, of course opposite to what I had thought and hoped for. Honestly, I think in our social media driven age, the competitiveness and greed have gotten far worse because many either strive to appear to be someone they're truly not or want to do better than what it appears someone is doing. I've seen this even in my own family and it's quite sad. Anyway, in regards to your outfit, I love the all black and how you've mixed different textures and details to create an interesting all black outfit. Thanks for sharing, beauty, and I hope you have a great weekend ahead!

    XO,

    Jalisa
    http://www.thestylecontour.com

    Reply
  9. Edye Nicole March 17, 2017

    Your hair looks gorgeous! Have a great weekend, Faye xx

    Blessings,
    Edye | Gracefulcoffee.com

    Reply
  10. Crence March 20, 2017

    This style is so cute! Going to try and do it on my own article. You will like to see more fun from here.

    Reply
  11. Quinn Vaccarino March 20, 2017

    You are such a stunner! This photoshoot is just too cool. And totally agreed with how most adult relationships are transient. It's saddening, but also it truly makes you realize who your true friends are xx

    http://www.qustomquinns.com/blog

    Reply
  12. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Thanks Violette! .x

    Reply
  13. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Thank you for your comment, Kathrine! It's nice to know that you can relate. Glad you like the outfit too! Have a wonderful day .x

    Reply
  14. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Thanks for your comment & thoughts Yasmin! So glad you enjoyed the post .x

    Reply
  15. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Thank you lovely! .x

    Reply
  16. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Ah thank you Holly – I'm glad you can! Hope you're well lovely .xx

    Reply
  17. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Thanks for sharing your comment Yiota! Most definitely, I'm glad you agree. Glad you like the outfit and photos too! .x

    Reply
  18. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Thanks so much Daniel! .x

    Reply
  19. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Ah thanks for your comment Jalisa! That's a really true thought about social media, I completely agree. So happy you like the outfit too, have a wonderful week! .xx

    Reply
  20. Faye Fearon March 20, 2017

    Thank you very much Edye! .x

    Reply
  21. Rachel-Beth March 23, 2017

    I absolutely love how you've mixed textures in this all-black look. I can relate to what you're saying about relationships and I think that toxic friendships are worth dumping

    Rachel xx
    http://www.thedailyluxe.net

    Reply
  22. Chanel From Je M'appelle March 23, 2017

    Such a poignant read. I think most relationships are transient but we should look to make the real relationships in our life more passionate and joyful. Love your look !

    Chanel | Je M'appelle Chanel

    Reply

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